‘Dreams Of A Life’ Doesn’t Tell The Full Story. People DID Notice Joyce Vincent’s Disappearance.
Posted by blue on December 18, 2011With 68 Comments, Posted under Life & Style
Yesterday I posted the widely circulated trailer for the British docudrama “Dreams of a Life”; a haunting story about a woman who allegedly went three years before anyone noticed she had died.
That premise alone is enough to make anyone pause in their tracks. But something about the version presented seemed overly simplistic. I mean yes – the job of a trailer is to tease the audience into wanting to see the whole film (and I definately do want to see it), but something just felt off.
So I did a bit of digging.
While having a discussion online about the story, one reader from England shared this with me:
From a BBC Radio 4 report I listened to, commentators were quite cross about this documentary because it was sensationalist and glossed over some facts whilst overemphasizing others – in short, it was very unbalanced.
Joyce was in fact a drifter and went in and out of people’s lives. People didn’t fret when she went away for ages at a time because it was part of her ordinary behavior.
Also, a major omission was the fact that Joyce’s sister had hired a Private Investigator to trace her well before she died and he carried on investigating until well after death.
There was no mention of this in the documentary and the focus was more on how everyone noticed Joyce, yet nobody noticed her at all …. Sure its an abstract concept that offers ripe intellectual fodder – but it completely veils the reality that people cared for and were looking for Joyce; her family – and Joyce cared enough to be wrapping xmas gifts for someone, probably them.
Ok so that changes everything.
To say that no one noticed she was dead for 3 years is a great and provocative spin for a movie, but not the entire truth. Her family desperately looked for her, for quite some time. And you don’t have to take my word for it.
When questioned – Carol Morley, the film maker admits:
At one point they [her family] hired a private detective and approached the Salvation Army to find Joyce. One of the sisters said that they should have hired me as I did a better job than the detective they hired. They were devastated by the loss of Joyce.
..I think many people, including myself, would realise that we too are not in touch with people, with family members, and often assume they those family members are off living a busy life.
Several sources also address the questions surrounding the logistics of her death. Below, I’ve assembled some key points:
- She was a victim of domestic violence living in a flat set up by an organization that deals with victims.
- With subsidized housing, part of her rent continued to be paid.
- The mail was dropped directly into the apt through a slot on the door so that’s why no one noticed the pile up.
- She lived in a seedy area where the trash bins and hallways were normally rank. Once they’d even found a dead junkie’s body in the elevator! So the smell of her decomposing body was assumed to be coming from the bins.
- It was a noisy building frequented by drug addicts, so the sound of the tv wasn’t anything out of the norm.
- No one contacted the domestic violence organization so they didn’t think there was any reason to check in on her. This practice has been updated since her story made the news. Now they visit tenants at least once a year.
- Whenever neighbors knocked at the door, no-one answered, so they assumed it was unoccupied.
- Both her parents are dead, but as stated before, her sisters were looking for her.
- The director respected the wishes of Vincent’s sisters and an ex-fiancé, who chose not to take part in the film. So their side of this story is omitted.
- They discovered her corpse only because – with her rent two years behind – the housing trust finally decided to repossess it.
Any way you slice it, it’s a bleak story. But the way it’s being marketed has caused many to (erroneously) assume negligence on the part of her family.
Coincidentally, in the middle of writing this post – I stopped and called my mom; just to make sure she was okay. It wasn’t until after we got off the phone that I realized why I’d felt so compelled to check in on her.
All those hours reading about Joyce had really gotten to me,
And I suspect that reaction will probably be the legacy of Ms. Vincent; she’s a reminder to all of us… to stay connected to those we love.
*While she is played by actress Zawe Ashton in the movie, below are pictures of the real woman behind this story.
My first time hearing of and seeing this documentry left
me simply sad. I guess the profound sadness of it all. But
I truely feel that some sort mental illness is at play here
and her life experiences only served to aggitate this.
R.I.p joyce, very sad documentary made me cry at the end . I think joyce as a child was so traumatized by the ddeath of her mother she automatically blocked it out and wanted a brand new start so when family wanted to keep in touch she didn’t want the emotional commitment anyd to come across very reserved and strong to put on a fake happiness when she clearly was screaming inside. It seemed to me she was very depressed and ashamed of her childhood and closed off from the world. Hope you are in a better place which you deserve.
Appreciate your information. Personally, I am convinced Joyce was most likely abused…probably sexually by her father. IF this story is correct about HIM, one can bet Joyce was a victim of his sexual deviancy. Her sisters could have been too, which might explain the disconnect she lived out in her life. Families are notorious for denying abuse to protect themselves. Joyce spent her life emotionally damaged, void of her sense of ‘self’ and fearful of relationships. Running…just running. I pray she had an encounter with God in her time here on earth. God bless you Joyce in Jesus name.
Joyce’s behavior is very typical of someone with Bipolar 2 disorder, and/or depersonalization disorder. She also expressed to Martin that she “wasn’t feeling well” there towards the end — this is typical of someone who is in the early onset of schizophrenia. I am sure that Joyce’s traumatic childhood fed into her becoming a drifter who was torn between wanting a relationship with someone while fearing becoming attached to someone. It’s a very sad case.
Dan – I don’t mind critiques. I’m aware the picture above is from the movie. That was done intentionally because the post is about the movie. The only pictures of the real Joyce are the last two. There was no error. Thanks for reading the piece tho!
Just finished watching it and it’s so disturbing, yet one can’t help but watch. I think most of us have some sort of fear that something like this might happen to us, you know?
I agree with the other person who said there was likely some sort of bipolar disorder or other mental illness at play here in addition to the abuse she incurred from a boyfriend (or boyfriends, as the case may be)and possibly the father.
Any way you look at it, it’s deeply sad. What a beautiful woman she was!
This was hard on my heart I think Joyce wanted what wasnt for her,this is hard for some people to give up on DREAMS
Thanks for some of the missing facts, Blue, and thank god for radio 4 as opposed to channel 4. Having come digging myself through extreme dis-comfort of the so called “story/facts/conclusion”, your additions certainly seem to put light on certain aspects. In fact, considering the nature of those missing facts, I’d go so far as to say that Morley’s portrayal makes a mockery of the truths.
However, for some reason I still feel that same dis-comfort – even with the new facts. To use your own words, “…but something just felt off.”…and still does……
Very interesting! I appreciate the follow up since, as you said, there were a lot of unanswered questions after watching the documentary. It was fascinating, but it was partial. This fills in some of the gaps nicely.
No matter the missing facts, this story is just gutting. Whether or not her sisters looked for her, obviously madness that a PI couldn’t get there. The tele… That is the really amazing bit. I just can not understand how they werent round to her door about that pretty fast.
Her so called friends were a bit unlikeable. Her former lovers seemed too eager…. I just dont believe them. One says she cant sing. The others say she was amazing. She stayed with one six months and she told him she wanted to marry…. I cant believe them. Its just so sad. I can relate to her disappearing often but at some point it had to be odd.
just watched this documentary today and found it really disturnbing. someone must have realised she wasnt coming and going from her flat. How come the TV was on for THREE YEARS . I find that really wierd ! and in this day and age with modern technology and dna etc. how come they dont know her cause of death, when archeologists can work out the death causes from bones that have been buriedfor hundreds of years ! Someone has to take responsibility for the poor girl, The neglect and dismissive attitude of the investigation would leave me to continue asking questions if that was my sister!
I agree with the comments about the documentary. It didn’t seem very balanced. I find some of the speculations on her passing curious. I’ve seen bi-polar, schizophrenic (ridiculous observations – in my opinion, and my brother was diagnosed with and lives with both conditions), foul play but I haven’t’ seen too many talk about her taking her own life. It seems to me that the signs were all there. She listed her Bank Manager as her next of kin when admitted to the hospital right before passing, had a pile of unopened Christmas gifts she had wrapped next to her (which I feel was a message from her about the aloneness she felt in this world) – well after the holiday had passed, and an unwound tape of her singing recording. Truly a tragic story.
Such a shame a beautiful women lost her life and had been laying in her flat all that time I think Joyce was a lost soul a very young lady that needed a lot of help in her life and her friends could have seen this from what thy said in the film one of her friends/Exs said that he know she wasn’t working and then working as a cleaning and thn he come home one day and she was gone why didn’t he ring her and try find her to make sure she was ok and safe coz when she turn up at his house she said she was in trouble. R.I.P Joyce your in god hands now so u are safe and loved
SO SAD. Think Joyce was suffering from depression or some other mental illness. Think she felt very alone, the fact that she named her bank manager as her next of kin tells me she didn’t feel that her friends and family were important to her, or she felt she wasn’t important to them. She did try to get help from 2 of her ex boyfriends, i think they missed the singes, so sad that they obviously didn’t know her. Women who are being abused often hide it because of the embarrassment and shame they fee but some do confide in one person. I think its so sad that she didn’t feel she could confide in any of her friends or family.
I totally agree with the comments made by Shocked, wake up and smell the coffee its 2013 and u cant say how she died, but you can tell us how someone from hundreds of years ago did.
She was a beautiful women who who was in a very dark place, just a shame someone didn’t notice. I hope she is at peace now.
I could relate to this documentary. She set out with big hopes and dreams and wound up in a small lonely space pushing into her 40′s. That would devastate and shame anyone who has no means to cope. She may not even be abused even though she sought refuge as a victim… She may just needed a place to stay. Her depression caused her to make certain decisions that landed her in tough times. Like a model who forever locked herself away in her apartment so that no one could witness her aging.
I’ve often said that I would be rotting before anyone discovered me missing as I don’t keep in touch with people. However, living in a capitalist country – my landlord would surely find me well before 3 years time.
She had obviously become reclusive (which plays into Gwen’s theory of mental illness, but I don’t think there were any signs of anything worse than depression). And since she was known as beautiful and elegant – I do believe pride played a big role. I mean to say: I understand why the writer here (known only as “blue”) wishes to protect Joyce’s sisters, however, I find it inexcusable that they DIDN’T know where she lived and had a P.I. looking for her. Who WERE those gifts for and when would she be “handing them out?” …
Even my sister (who doesn’t even claim to love me) knows where I live..and I am several states away. Still, she has my address and emails me a couple of times per year. To me the sisters are to blame and the ex fiance’ and that’s exactly why they didn’t want to be in the documentary. What thing could they possibly say to excuse that? There WAS email in 2003..and snail mail had been around since her birth!!!
As for the rest, dear Blue, it was all covered in the documentary…the presents all around her (for whom?)..the yucky bedsit, the post slat in the door is shown at the very beginning, etc,
I wasn’t illuminated by this. I guess I really want to know why this woman died. No one with that much pride would likely kill themselves without cleaning up AT LEAST. Strange.
This documentary film has really affected me deeply. The portrayal of Joyce’ character in the film was like looking in a mirror. It’s as if I know her because I was her.
Thank you for “filling the gaps” in the story about Joyce. it it indeed tragic that ANYONE can be left out by society for so long. I can’t help but notice how many of the comments in here seems to suggest that it is that more tragic a story because she was so beautiful.. its tragic no matter who this kind of neglect happens to, and it reminds me that every day you have the responsability it is to notice those arround you and the signals they send.